NEW CITY // NEW FRIENDS: 4 TIPS ON MAKING NEW FRIENDS
Since finishing school 4 years ago, I've deleted my facebook, deactivated my phone, traveled to 26 countries, backpacked Europe solo, moved into condos with strangers, made friends across the world, and just began embarking on my first licensed solo business while debating the next city to move to in September. Life is wild + the one common piece of the equation that has made all of this possible is: I've learned to become friends with absolute strangers. Constantly people ask me how I manage to "just talk to anyone." Here are 4 ways you can put yourself out there & start making new friends! xx
Diana & I met 6 years ago when I was looking for a way to get involved with my local church.
4 Tips to Make New Friends in New Cities
1. Step One Degree Out of Your Social Circle
When you have a friend that makes you see vibrancy in life with wisdom, laughter, hope, or joy, realize that they probably have people pouring that into them as well! Everyone goes through life with issues + heavy hearted moments, but those around us teach us to grow in the bright and dark moments equally. Next time you hangout with that friend, suggest that they bring one of their friends they have talked about + keep in mind that they MIGHT be completely different than you in many ways, or equally as similar! You already have common ground!
2. Download an App
There is an app for everything these days! When I first moved back to LA, I had lost contact with everyone as I changed phones over the years and had no facebook. My instagram does not even have my name or phone number attached to it, so I had to start over. Traveling across the US to visit friends in the Midwest, I was alone + lost on "where to go" in each city. I used an app! Be honest, up front, and tell a local what you're looking for!
MEETUP: I used this App when I first moved back to LA! It lets you choose what interests you, what kind of events you want to go to, and allows you to tailor your app to fit what community you would want to be apart of in your city! Want to bar hop with some brew loving new friends or go see a small intimate screening of a new film? No problem!
BUMBLE: So typically this is used to dating, but they just released Bumble BFF! Not only does that help with the pre-meeting jitters if you were to go on a "blind friend date," but it also lets you do a little bit of screening with bios and fun pictures of what you like to do! I had made this app before they released the Bumble BFF option and used it in every city I went to when on a solo road trip. I opened with: "Hey, I just got to town and am looking to learn where to go in the city. What is your favorite whiskey bar, coffee shop, & dinner spot in town?" I met the BEST people who I am still in contact and friends with till this day!
3. Search Volunteer Opportunities in Your Town
When I moved to Santa Barbara, I began volunteering at Habitat for Humanity. On Saturdays I would wake up early and head to the shop to help clean, sell, and help with the new merchandise donated every day. I worked with other people older and younger than myself and helped raise money to build homes for low income families here & internationally!
4. Try Going To A Coffee Shop or Bar Solo
This can make you a little more uneasy than the last three options, but this has been the best for creating a regular little spot, while having a bartender or barista to talk to and get to know. When you are feeling a little lonely, stepping into a coffee shop or bar and being greeted by someone who knows your name can make a HUGE difference in your day. Put in the time to become a regular and soon you'll be finding out that there are many other regulars to get to know at your local "watering hole."
Things to Remember When Starting a Conversation:
- You Don't Need to Make 12 New Best Friends Right Away. Friendships Can Be Immediate or Take Time!
- You Have Your Own Unique Story To Bring To The Table.
- Don't just ask questions. You wouldn't want to be interviewed by a stranger so don't do it! Listen to what they say, lead off little points, express interest, and don't one up by talking about why that reminds you of yourself. That will get old REALLY fast.
- You DON'T HAVE TO IMPRESS ANYONE.
- Relax and Approach the Situation as Yourself. Don't Be Anything BUT Yourself!
These tips are not meant to make you feel like it's easy or write off any anxiety, but you are wonderfully made & you don't need to ever worry about someone not liking you. Friends come in the right place at the right time, but they don't just appear. You have to put yourself out there and try.