Flagstaff, Arizona
Traveling to new cities by yourself is always an odd feeling. The colors of a new town, the smell of great food, and the odd sights of what deems one a "local" can be wonderful to take in and process, but you have no one to process beside. Traveling solo requires journaling often, fighting the innate feeling of isolated shelter, and the constant battle of being comfortable in your own skin when no one is validating you.
Traveling always pushes me to notice when I feel most uncomfortable doing mundane activities alone. Eating at a restaurant, going to see a movie, or going to grab a beer, all become extremely difficult to feel comfortable to do alone.
Setting out to my first stop in Arizona, I was going to have to drive the 7 hours by myself and sit in whatever thoughts passed over my mind. A few times my mind began drifting to an ex that was horribly unkind and an awful example of caring for someone. However, I still gave him that power over my mind. Why?
Heading into the dark night sky, I knew I was close to my friend's cabin. She had gone to college with me and was a few years younger. Though we rarely communicated through regular channels, we were oddly really well versed on one another's mentality, and capability to see the beauty in the intense moving moments of growth.
As I turned into her driveway, I was greeted with screams and shouts of over-joyous gratitude for my visit. I felt so wanted in that moment. I was validated in the hug of someone who kept up with my journey the last year and a half. The bad, the good, the soft, and the ugly. She had read my writing through each of these seasons of my life and still, understood, and embraced my beauty.
Gratitude for another person doesn't have to be tangible, physical, lasting, or momentary. I learned from her that moment that sometimes the idea of one person knowing you are worth cherishing is simply enough. Distant validation is rather encouraging and holds all of the weight of validation without the manipulation and addiction that constant validation can hold.